Main bhi Marathoner!

I am writing this blog with a calm mind, with a feeling of accomplishment and with my legs in the hot tub to soothe the pain developed from my participation in the Juniper Run 2015. To confess, I have never before run in any marathon/half marathon/quarter marathon etc. So this 5k run was my debut and I am really feeling good for finishing it with flying colors. Nobody in my family or friends circle had ever imagined that I could finish the 5km run in less than 40min.  But I never had any doubt in my abilities and always believed I could do it. The only doubt in my mind earlier was if I could actually wake up before 6AM on a Sunday morning. My wife had ensured I woke up on time, and we headed to the Prestige Tech Park early in the morning yawning all the way. Thanks to the excellent security arrangement, and with a guard on every 50m showing clear signs to head to the parking area, it was easy for the half asleep mind to find a nice parking place.

When we reached the venue most of the crowd was already there full of enthusiasm with their family members absolutely geared up for the run. We pinned the BIB and were ready for the Zumba warmup dance. While my wife was having fun dancing I could hardly follow the steps shown by  the instructors on the ramp. But that in no way was going to discourage me. I was ready for the kill. I had full faith in my training the previous week, 1.5km Treadmill walk on Thursday and complete rest on saturday. Taking rest is very much necessary before the race day, I had read it clearly somewhere. We started running overtaking many people in the crowd, nothing would stop me. My wife gave a signal that I can go ahead and need not wait for her. I was glad she let me go faster. The weather was right and so was the atmosphere around, I started my first run with full swing.

Within a few minutes I could hear the cheers from the crowd and the anchor announcing the first person who had finished the 5k run. I was sure i was close to the finish line and was going to reach it anytime now and ran breathing heavily. Don't know why but the people running ahead of me were getting slightly blurry. That is when i saw the first milestone banner reading something like “2km completed 3km more”. How could that be possible? I have been running for so long now. I wondered what technique they had used to measure the distance. Somehow reading this last banner had brought my energy levels down significantly. With lot of difficulty I could see the kids running ahead of me. It was time to slow down a bit and have some water, I could always cover it up by running faster later.

I don’t exactly remember what happened after that. My heart was beating like some Yo Yo Honey Singh Numbers. I was wondering if I was dreaming or was running for real. The cameras on the way had kept me running till now. I was about to faint when I  saw a blurry banner which read “4km, 1km more to go”. Just 1 more km to go! My brain started responding again and my body had found some new energy again. I could do it. I ran with my full strength and could see the anchor waiting for me with a raised hand for a high five. This was it, this was the moment I was waiting for.. I wished my wife would be there in the crowd and would take a picture of that legendary high five. But I could hear some announcements and I could figure out that most of the 10k runners also had already finished before me. But this was my first run after all. And whatever time I maintained, I at least finished what I started. I was happy like never before. Now I was a marathoner too.. It was time for some crazy selfies.

I found my wife after some time near the breakfast counter finishing a food marathon. She  had already played some games organized for non runners and had also won some chocolates. Breakfast was very tasty and the menu was extensive. It was time for some great music by  the “Beat Gurus” and the much awaited award ceremony. My wife asked me if I had any chance of winning the trophy placed on the stage. I said I had a chance to win only if half of the crowd gets detected positive for some banned substance and are disqualified from the race and it was remotely not possible. Maybe I should train myself even more for the next run.  

But it was an amazing experience participating in this event. And hearing our VP announcing that we are going to donate close to 45 Lakh towards education and development of villages, it felt even more worth spending the weekend on this Run for a cause. Thanks to the amazing J-Funatics  team, as ever they had done great planning and executed it as well. I can still feel some pain in my legs. Time for some “Zandu Balm” massage.. bye for now..

SpouseKart.com

There is a huge craze for writing and reading reviews of various products we use on websites these days. Only after thoroughly going through these reviews that we finalize if we really want to buy the product or not. Where should I dine, where should I sleep, which book to read, which shirt should I buy, where should I work etc etc we can find answers to all these questions online. In fact you wouldn't disagree if I say that the time we spend on reading the reviews on petty products is more than the time we spend on earning the money equivalent to the cost of the product.

Some reviewers spend a lot of time on each reviews, meticulously going through each detail of the product and the brand. And some are just blind fans or haters of a product and throw away the rating stars just like that. Even language hasn't been a barrier, as many write with their broken English and still manage to convey their opinion.

Since the reviews have become so relevant for us, from the place I stay, things I wear to the place I work, I was just wondering what kind of of pinions would be posted if Matrimonial websites allowed reviews on the yet to be brides and grooms. Imagine people who already know the boy or the girl post their opinions about them online. It would be so helpful for the bride/groom seekers to find the right match. Before your mind wanders into unexplored unwanted thoughts I would like to list out a few possible reviews myself getting some inspirations from the popular shopping websites. 


Profile of Groom:

Young smart and handsome men available. 
Dowry payment with EMI option available

Grab a husband before someone else does.
Deal of the day: flat 60% off

Photo: 

Publishers: Mr and Ms Barathwale

Key features:

• Boy, Straight with no earlier affairs
• Speaks Hinglish 4.0 
• Free Delivery at Government Hospital

Specifications:
Display:	Eyes: Front Facing only, Sensor: Auto shutter and Autofocus Type: Myopic Gorilla glass -3.0 cylindrical
Audio:	Front: 100dB max Back: Silent mode
Dimensions:	Size: 6.1ft Weight: 70kg
Memory:	Internal : Slightly forgetful, Cannot remember anniversaries External : Quite good memory, 1K affairs
Battery:	Capacity: 2-3 Ragi mudde, 4 Roti with chicken curry, 1 Biriyani Talk time: 3-4 hrs on Modi
Connectivity:	Socially and personally connectable
Additional Features:	Likes watching cricket, Loves dogs, Kind to kids and girls
Warranty:	Manufacturing defects only.

 Top User Reviews

★★★★★ anath_bandhu: Certified Boyfriend	Value for Money Go for him!! He is an awesome guy. I know him from childhood. We wrote exams together and also failed together. You can’t get better than him. 6.1ft with no earlier affairs is a great deal. Just few days of usage and you won’t realize he wears glasses. And believe me, silent mode is really killing silent.
★★★★★ awara_dost: Certified Boyfriend	Pappu can’t dance saala hahaha Saaale shadi kar raha hain aur bataya bhi nahi.. matlab Munni ko babaji ka thullu…Party to banti hain bhai..
★★★★★ than_than_gopal:	Thank you Mr and Ms Barathwale! Barthwale uncle is just awesome. He is our neighbour and never complains when we have late night parties since we invite Pappu also. Thanks for delivering Pappu on time.  Way to go Mr and Ms Barathwale.
★★★★★ ab_ki_baar: Certified Uncle	Beware don’t be fooled by the size Reading the specs i went to their house with a proposal for my daughter who is also 6ft tall. But seems like he is 6.1ft after wearing a padded shoe. Without that he is just 5.95ft. I feel cheated. Will never marry my daughter to any Barathwale’s ever.
★★★★★ pyari_munni:	Excellent Boy Excellent family! I love you Pappu. Dont know why you go away. I go to gym and become more beautiful now. Very nice. I take care of uncle aunty also. Please marry me no. Miss you mmmuaaah..
★★★★★ maa_ka_laadla:	Dashing Handsome and Rich! Awesome boy! He is my loving son. He was a topper in LKG. Very obedient and hard working. He is always there in his room.  Lakhon main ek hain mera dulara, one among lakhs. He is a Software Engineer at Infosys.

Profile of Bride:

Young and beautiful girls finally ready for marriage available. Color and design you have never seen before. Special discount on Anarkali types. 

Photo: 

*Color in the picture might look different from the actual color.

General Details:

Product origin:	Mr and Ms Amirzaade
USP:	Brand New, 100% Original, Secured Payment ;)
Ideal For:	Men (Shopping and Facebook relationship status)
Refund Policy:	Goods once delivered will not be taken back
Occasion:	Party, Casual, Home use
Pattern:	Pimpled, Same like her mother
Sleeve:	Always sleeveless
Neck :	Round Neck
Height:	5.5ft with high heels
Color:	Nice chocolaty brown
Weight	40kg*

                                                                                  *as measured on mercury

Fabric Care: Handle with care, regularly bleach to maintain color.

Top User Reviews

★★★★★ ban_gaya_kutta: Certified Boyfriend	Not happy with this product I met her at airport and fell in love. We dated for 5 months. Now i sell tea at bus stand. Go ahead if you always wanted to sell tea.
★★★★★ yaad_sataye:	Come to me :( My kuchipuchi please come back to me. I will wait till tomorrow evening. If you wont come i will suicide.. pleeeaaaaaaassseee :(
★★★★★ romeo_badnaam:	Awesome girl!! We were classmates in Ram-Bharose school, 7th Standard B section. She is a very nice girl and once even helped me with my geography homework. Only problem was her leaking nose which she never cleaned. Guess that won’t be a big issue.. Go for her..
★★★★★ sab_ka_bandhu: Certified Boyfriend	Worth every penny you spend on her shopping! I dated her for close to 7 months and it was fun being with her. Her choice of clothes and perfumes is awesome and usually keeps her Body Odour away.  She has got an awesome sense of humor. Even in my worst of situations like when i lost my job she kept smiling and shopping. Such a sport.. go get her today..
★★★★★ padosan_aunty:	Very experienced girl If you want a loving caring girl who can be your best life partner then check my daughter’s profile here http://shadi.com/234klwshdfhuuhw/munni420
★★★★★ Mba_manager:	Nice to see her getting married I am her current manager. It has been a pleasure working with her. She has changed the company statistics completely. Network usage has increased hundred times after we recruited her. Very good team player. Even while she is online on facebook most of the times, her teammates manage all her work. Some lucky boy will take her away.. All the best.

Political FAQ: Pappu, Feku ya Nautanki?

My wife says I have to vote for Congress. She is threatening me with dire consequences otherwise. What should I do?

Please go ahead and vote for Congress! I can understand your situation. If the congress candidate is good in your area, then you are lucky to have such a sensible wife. Otherwise the country will forgive you anyway.

My 14 year old Son fought with his science teacher arguing that Modi Wave actually exist. Does it exist?

Broadly speaking, following are the types of waves:

Mechanical Waves: Which requires a medium to travel

Electromagnetic waves: Which does not require a medium to travel

Modi Wave: Which requires Media to travel. These type of waves are still under research. So till then ask your son not to include them in his exam answers.

I have been watching a lot of political debates on TV and fighting with my friends and relatives. Most of them no longer talk to me. Please help me

There is no guarantee how much the outcome of these elections will actually impact your life, but your relatives and friends definitely will have a major influence on your life. Don't lose them over rude debates. Don’t argue like Arnab Goswami. Talk politely to gain confidence and to put across your points.

My 16 year old daughter says she will vote for Rahul as he is very cute. What should I do?

Thank god she is still 16! She is not yet eligible to vote. But you are fortunate that she is already taking interest in politics. And be happy that her reason to vote for a candidate is lot more sensible than most of the so called educated people who vote for religion/caste etc.

Why do ministers don't perform their duties and cheat us?

If you are reading this sitting in office or while doing any other important duty which you are supposed to do, then you already know the answer. Just look around you and genuinely answer how many of us are dedicated to their work and follow proper ethics in their daily duties /Tax declarations etc and you will get the answer. These ministers are not aliens, they are one among us.

Voting in my area is during a long weekend. Should I vote or go on a long pending vacation with my family?

Dude! Vote this time or don't crib about political situation in India ever. 

My friends asked me to vote for Modi, Should I vote for Modi?

Sorry, You can Vote for Modi only if you stay in Varanasi or Vadodara, though he is the PM candidate of BJP. Do some research to find out who is contesting in your area. If your local BJP candidate is competent, uncorrupt and better than others, you can vote for him.

Should I vote for a Stable Government or for the right Candidate?  

Technically our right to vote ends at MP level. We have no role in choosing the Prime Minister and neither in choosing his equally important team which includes Finance, Agriculture,Home Ministry, Defence Ministry etc. These decisions are made at the party level.  So voting for the best possible candidate in the constituency in which we are voting is the most logical way of voting. So that good elected people will choose a good leader as the PM and give good governance or at least will make a very good opposition.

And the idea of voting for a corrupt candidate just because he belongs to a bigger party which might come to power is flawed, which means supporting corruption at a level which is in our control (at least during the elections). If it means hung assembly so be it. Don’t put your’s and your children’s future at stake to save close to thousand crores as election costs which anyway would go to some corrupt politician’s bank account if you made the wrong choice. According to Gita “Do your duty without dwelling on it's outcome”.

This is a @$#&)%*crazy country. Everyone is corrupt. No body gives a damn. Even after 60 years of independence we are slaves in this fake democracy. Let Arvind Kejriwal  become the PM he will root out corruption and free us from all problems.

Dude relaxxxx! take a break or take a small vacation and then vote in your full consciousness. Don't make a God/Demon out of a person. Again you are not voting for the PM candidate. You vote for the best candidate in your constituency. Do some research yourself and see if AAP candidate in your area is good and can represent it well in the parliament.

Should I vote in this elections based on Local issues or National issues?

Though both MLA (Assembly elections) and MP (Loksabha elections) are jointly responsible for development in a particular area, MLA is more responsible for local development and MP represents your constituency in the parliament at a National level. MP also has some funding for development of his constituency and can influence and debate to get proper funding from the center. At the same time the MP you chose may end up in the cabinet ministry and represent our country as a whole, be it as a Finance Minister or External affairs minister etc. So decide smartly.

What does this FAQ stand for? And how is it related to Women empowerment and RTI?

Rahul, this FAQ is not meant for you. Better ask your Mom.

Me support AAP but since Arvind Khujliwal  is anarchist and he ran away from Delhi I hate him. Should I also slap him if meet. India wants answer.

You are the victim of watching and following too much of Media. Stay away from News channels and do not read the rude comments posted on News forums for a few days. Once you feel better do some research on your constituency candidates from some neutral sites. (Something like this: http://bangalore.citizenmatters.in/articles/quick-reference-to-bangalore-central-candidates) Media can be very biased at times and has successfully implanted words like Anarchist in your limited vocabulary. Unfortunately we have always been extremely critical of positive reforms/ideas at all levels and completely ignorant about certain facts and issues.

People say Modi is like a Hitler and his development in Gujarat is just a publicity gimmick. Should i still vote for him?

He could be a very good leader infact. Hearing to his speeches at least gives an impression that he might be a good leader. Cannot comment on his true credentials and unfortunately cannot fully trust the information put up by the media  both supporting him and against him. But again, can just one man really give a good governance without having a very good genuine team with him? Imagine a situation if the CEO of the company you are working for is a great leader and your immediate manager is inefficient and biased, will you be happy? Here at least the CEO can choose to fire wrong guys, but in politics it is not possible. If people decide to choose best MPs from their area which turns out to make him our Prime Minister then we would hopefully progress as a country.

I heard of alcohol being distributed for elections. Where can I find these guys. I need to party for this weekend

Dude, you can always find a friend who will sponsor your booze. Please don't screw the country for a bottle of unbranded alcohol.

Android vs Mom

To introduce mom to the amazing features of a smart phone I gifted her a Micromax Android phone on her Anniversary. Since she uses her phone just for calling and at most to listen to music, i guessed she would find it difficult to cope with a more advanced operating system like Android. But she has picked up the intricacies of Android so fast that I can no longer answer her queries. She just took a couple of months to figure out that  the 1GHz processor Micromax was a junk  phone and the amazing specs (on paper) could no longer convince her. She wanted a better Android phone. (The Micromax is now happy being accepted in the noble family of old 1100, w700i etc)

That is when I gave her my basic "LG Optimus One" phone which I was using happily for the past two years. And within two days she crashed the custom ICS rom I had flashed on it and the phone just went dead. She said she was playing with some settings and the phone went to a really long sleep (Somehow i could never do it in my two years of Android usage). She started cursing me for the poor visibility of ICS rom and it was no longer easy to toggle Wi-Fi etc. Somehow I convinced her that it's Google's mistake and not mine and with lot of pains recovered the stock ROM for her liking.

Since then there is no looking back and she now configures Wi-Fi on her phone and shares images with her friends over Bluetooth. she has already picked up words like "download", "upload" and replies in whatsapp using things like "OK cool". Is always glued to her phone till late nights and also had several visits to Eye specialists. She now helps her friends to upload apps on their phone (upload=install in her dictionary, also Internet=Google=Wi-Fi).  But her deep dive into the world of Android and her one-one with recent technologies was not always easy on my brain and my ego of being an Engineer. As I get blamed for most of the bugs introduced in Android by Google or any other developer of Apps. Following are some of her duels with Android/me:

Mom vs my M.Tech (round 1):
Mom: What is the difference between 2G, 3G and 2GB,3GB?
Me: aaahmmmm! 2G is second generation of wireless technology. The gsm technology we use for  calling is 2G or rather 2.5G. 3G is third generation which provides higher speed internet these days. 2GB is 2 Gigabyte's a measure of memory. More is the memory more songs you can store.
Mom: !!!! (puzzled) what are you talking about?
Me: 2G is for Sim card 2GB is for SD card.

Mom vs YouTube update: I thought of surprising mom with the new YouTube interface and updated it myself. Somehow her search history got messed up.
Mom: what did you do to my phone. I can no longer see comedy and cookery shows I had on my YouTube
Me: Those were just initial "Recommendations". You can always search for them.
Mom: Idiot don't ever touch my phone!

Mom vs WhatsApp: On profile pictures of other users, showing in whatsapp

 Mom: Why do people put their photos on "my" Whatsapp?
Me: !! %&@!! (Puzzled)
Mom: Delete them I don't want them on my phone.
Me: &@%#+&#! (Slightly dizzy)

Mom vs YouTube:
Mom: How do I download songs from YouTube?
Me: (Wondering how to explain her the Google policy on app market!) You need an app for that which is not available on Google play. You have to get Tubemate etc
Mom: OK cool
Me: !!

Mom vs my M.Tech(round 2):
Mom: What is the difference between Wi-Fi and the Internet?
Me: aah mmm (using experience from past will try to explain in kannada) Wi-Fi is a "Maadhyam" (medium) and internet is a "Saulabhya"(facility). Wi-Fi may provide internet but not vice versa. E.g Wi-Fi is like a plate in which you serve food called internet.
Mom: This is the stupidest example I have ever heard!
Wife: He is fooling around with you mother-in-law. Internet is nothing like that.
Me: %#?@+???
Mom: Idiot explain it in English
Me: I don't know :( ( my M.Tech proved useless again)

Experiences like these have definitely made me lot more patient these days :). Sharing this hoping that Google might hire her to test their future Android releases.