Bhookamp aaya bhaago :)

Recently, an earthquake hit Sumatra and tremors were felt in several parts of India. Many city dwellers like me are hardly sensitive enough to feel such tremors. Until someone pulls away the chair beneath us we are not going to move. So this is a guide to make us modern Indians aware of the steps to follow when such a disaster strikes us.

1.  First step before doing anything, is to ensure that you are actually shaking because of an earthquake. Make sure you are not drunk. Ask your friends to smell your breath to confirm. If it is stinking, then have a glass of water with lemon and then confirm again. Hang any object you find handy and see if it is swinging. If it is, then you better stop hanging and start running. If confirmed that it is actually an earthquake, then you can panic and follow the further steps.  
2.  Update facebook with this latest breaking news, that you felt the tremors. If possible, upload the videos on youtube. Wait till you get those few “likes” from your friends which you were always longing for.
3.  Propose to the girl whom you always liked. Scare her a bit of the possible consequences of an earthquake. Most likely she should accept.
4.  If you are married then don't forget to wake up your wife before running. There is every possibility that you escape this earthquake and get trapped in another. I hope you know what i mean. If you  have children then drag them away from the latest PlayStation you got them. If your children are away playing outside then they are safe anyway.  
5.  If you are in the office, do not forget to send a 'Will be out of office for a while due to earthquake' mail to your team and manager. It is very important to follow procedures. Sell the company shares that you own before you run just to be on the safer side, Kal kisne dekha hain :).
6.  If you are sleeping, then continue sleeping, it might just be a nightmare. You'll not even remember it when you wake up. If it is not allowing you to sleep, you better run for help.
7.  If you are anywhere near to the kitchen, then before running, grab as much food and water as possible. If you get trapped in the debris, this would be helpful. Don't carry unboiled eggs as they break very easily and can also spoil your shirt. Get a fully charged Ipod also if possible so that you don't get bored down there till the rescue team arrives.
8.  Keep your wifi router ON as you might want to check the latest news updates live or may want to try out some good Android Apps down there.
9.  In case you are in a toilet, better stay there. Even if you get trapped in the debris you already have the basic necessities with you. I mean water and the loo.
10.  Wear some nice clothes as some television channel might already be waiting outside with the breaking news and might run into you to get your footage. You don't want to be seen in pyjamas or boxers when the whole world is watching you.
11.  Use the elevator if possible, as most of the over informed people won't be using it, and you will reach faster and safer. May god bless you.
    
    

Disclaimer: This is just for fun. There is no intention to cause any confusion regarding the safety measures during an earthquake. Kindly refer to this link for the actual steps to be followed when an earthquake strikes: http://www.scec.org/education/public/espfocus/June_06.pdf