Sunday, October 21, 2012

Manasiddalli One-way

Bangalore-Traffic
Once known for its greenery the Garden City Bangalore is now quite popular for its congested roads. Since the time the city has been taken over by software engineers, it has seen a lot of changes in traffic conditions. It is no longer that peaceful city which I used to visit during my childhood days when I was not a Software Engineer. Environmentalists keep blaming we city dwellers for increasing pollution through traffic. And we keep buying new vehicles at an exponential rate, at least until our Metro Rail is ready. There are many people who keep blaming the traffic for their woes. And i was one of them. I used to get irritated very often. But reading some of the books on “Positive thinking”, buying the “Traffic nivaarak Yantra” from teleshopping  and watching some preachings on “Aastha” channel has changed my perspective towards life completely. I see the positive side of everything now. Nothing is real. World is just an illusion and so is the city pollution. It is visible only till the auto rickshaw right ahead of you takes a diversion. “Is jag main sab moh maaya hain”. But still sometimes this traffic haunts me.So much that even while walking i try to see into the rear view mirror and try to press the horn button. I hope i will come out of it. Excuse me, It’s time for my meditation..hmmmmm.

Since the time I arrived in Bangalore after my engineering, I've seen worst of its traffic. Traveling to Electronic City was supposed to be one of the worst experiences those days. Luckily we had a pickup bus which took around one and half hours to reach EC on normal days. And when it rained, it could even take more than a day. In my initial few days I used to get very irritated by the slow moving traffic. Then slowly I handed over the entire responsibility of keeping a watch on the traffic to our bus driver, and started having a very good nap. Now that I own a bike, I miss those relaxing bus travel days. Riding a bike has brought in many positive changes in me. One of the best things that happened to me after riding to office on a bike is that I started doing Yoga. Now without Yoga I don't even feel like going to office. I just feel like laying on the bed and resting my back. Thanks to my bike. It also taught me to be more hygienic and wash my face more often, as the black soot deposited on my face after traveling doesn't come off in one wash.

One should see the bangalore traffic as our mother nature, teaching us how to lead life in toughest of situations. Humans have survived many natural calamities and have grown more and more tougher every time. Similarly every time you come out of bangalore traffic you are a new man altogether. So much new that sometimes my wife doesn't recognize me until i take a shower. Traffic binds us together, it brings us closer. So close that I adjust the rear view mirror of my vehicle only to realize that it was of a neighboring vehicle. It also teaches us not to blindly follow others. sometimes I blindly follow the cars ahead of me like a hypnotized sheep forgetting that car has four wheels and my bike has only two. Car smoothly passes over the unexpected potholes and I fall into it.

Bangalore traffic also teaches a lot of patience. I realize that every time I watch the BMTC bus drivers. Irrespective of the traffic situation, they are at their own peace. Probably their wives teach them to be patient or maybe they find peace on crowded roads than in their homes. Only in some worst cases, like when I overtook very close to the bus, I could hear some very simple abuses like “goobe nann magane” which literally translates to “you owl, my son” :) or probably he meant “you son of an owl”. In terms of abuses on road, bangaloreans are still very soft. I don't mind being called an owl at all :). When you further irritate them may be by banging someone’s car bumper etc, that is when you get promoted to “boli magane” which literally translates to “*****”. It's safer not to continue the fight any further and leave it there before you get  promoted to some well known hindi abuses. Thanks to my bike and my driving skills, I have become quite resistant to these kind of abuses. Earlier, such words use to bother me a lot.

The famous quote from spiderman “With great power comes great responsibility” is very much valid on the road. More is the power of your engine, more responsible you are supposed to be on the road. If you are driving a 160hp truck or a bus, you are like Mother Teresa, and take the responsibility of safeguarding all the other vehicles and pedestrians. You have to be more patient and careful in overtaking even if it delays your own schedule. Likewise 1.2hp engines, I mean the pedestrians are the most carefree on road. It has become a trend these days in Bangalore to cross the road looking at the opposite direction of the traffic. As if saying “I am crossing the road, you dare hit me!”.  If by any chance you even bruise them, then the whole of the frustrated crowd will come and show you some unseen stars. Now that I ride in this traffic, I've grown to become more responsible, and I am confident enough to bring up even a drowning company.

Actually you get the best of all when you are driving a two wheeler. You can pinch through any traffic, and let the car guys keep honking. I keep abusing the car drivers for their attitude whenever I am on my motorbike. They honk as if they own the world for buying an expensive car. Now that I myself own a car things are a bit different now. Now I say “ yeah gareeb two wheeler wale khain pe bhi ghus aate hain” :) (meaning these poor two wheelers have no way to go ;)). I remember an incident when I was making way into the traffic on my bike and I slightly hit the rear view mirror of a car. I don't exactly know what damage it caused, but I simply moved ahead and sped off in the traffic. After traveling for more than 5-6 km, I saw a speeding car overtaking me on the flyover and braking in front of me just like in bollywood movies. I was about to abuse him when I heard the words for the second time “Goobe nann magane”. That is when I realized that it was the same car whose mirror I had hit. He followed me for god knows how long, just to call me “son of an owl” or rather “you owl, my son” which I anyway didn’t mind. I kind of liked his soft spokenness. I somehow convinced him that he has followed a wrong guy. He looked confused for a while and then left. Since then I’ve been more cautious about these rear view mirrors. Two wheeler handles are longer than what you feel when you are holding them.

Often people lose their calm while driving. Let alone the reaction of the driver himself, even the women passengers in the rickshaws who have absolutely no role in driving, make faces and point fingers at you if you come in their way. And when it is raining or when it is about to, whole Bangalore goes crazy. Suddenly the roads demonstrate a situation of survival of the fittest. As if saying, “boy, if you are not going to be ahead of that scooter, then you are going to be trapped in this rain for life”. It is also very frustrating to stand with idling engine at traffic signals. That is where people make desperate attempts to cross the signal even after it turns Red. If you have some good company around you, at least on other vehicles then definitely you wouldn't mind waiting. I hope you know what i am talking about. But usually that is not the case. And in no time the heat of the engine can be accurately measured on your head. Hence It is very important to learn some tricks to calm your brain down.
In such desperate cases, I would recommend performing some basic meditation on the road (at your own risk).
  • Take a deep breathe inside, convince yourself that there is no hurry. Note that your boss has already given up waiting for you.
  • The rain is harmless. Be calm and gentle on the clutch, hear your inner voice.
  • Look directly into the headlights of opposite vehicles. Feel life in them.
  • This is not what you were born for. Feel one with the traffic. After all they too are paying the same price for the petrol.
  • If you have a partner and she is with you, ask her to hold you tight. It improves the blood circulation to your brain. If you don’t have one, then dude, what is the hurry anyways.
  • Now breathe out slowly, else you will faint.
  • Feel the fresh breeze of air from the exhaust of some bullet ahead of you.You will feel alive. You will feel your lungs.
  • Check if the signal is still red. You could be blocking others who have not read this article.
  • Now slowly move ahead with half clutch and with light accelerator. Feel as if you are moving at the speed of light. You will reach home safely sooner or later.
  • And once you reach watch some programs on Aastha channel. It will teach you a lot of patience. You will feel your life so much more interesting than before.
  • Buy a “Traffic Nivaarak Yantra” if you don’t want any scratches on your car. It is compatible with your iPod also.You can contact me to place an order.

If the traffic still isn't moving, then press the horn like you have never done before. Honk like this is the end of the world. Go swearing on all the people who come in your way (except the rickshaw drivers, if you want to reach alive). Scare the shit out of the traffic. Oh wait, its again time for my meditation.. I will be right back.. hmmmmm